BOOMERS BEWARE!

If you are part of the baby boomer generation, then caring for your elderly parents may be the next job you face.  Will you be ready for them when they need you?
With the miracles of modern medicine,
 millions of  folks will reach that frail elderly stage when they can no longer live alone safely. Will one of them be your parent?

With a family of your own, a job – hopefully - and the challenges of maintaining a lifestyle you've worked hard for, finding yourself in the "sandwich generation" and suddenly needing to care for an aging parent, too, can be the final straw that unravels everything. You can’t take your aging parent out of the equation, but you can eliminate the “sudden” part of it.

You can, and should, start the difficult discussions with your parent, your own family, and your siblings now.  Know what your parents want to do when they can no longer live alone.   
   1. Where do they want to live? Their own home, your home, or a long term care home.
   2. Who they want to help them, if they do not want to move to a care facility?

   3.  Are their legal affairs in order – advance directives, powers of attorney, will or trust?
   4.  Is there long term care insurance or investments available for their care?  Medicare does not pay for long term care.

Start these conversations while your parent is still active and independent. Be clear with them that you don’t think they are failing. You just need to know their wishes while they can express them, so that if something should happen, a serious accident, a stroke or dementia that renders them unable to think clearly or communicate, you and your siblings will be able to make the difficult, but necessary decisions based on their wishes. This can help eliminate sibling battles that arise out of their own wishes and opinions. “I think Mom wants …” can no longer be used as an argument. Knowing what mom wants will eliminate a whole lot of arguments and family battles later. Record mom’s wishes so that you and your siblings’ memory lapses and hearing-things-differently are minimized when in the midst of a crises. What "mom wants" should be written down or better yet, make a You Tube of your discussions with mom and send it to all the family members.  Be sure to keep a copy tucked away safely with her will or trust.

When you are visiting over the Holidays, start this difficult discussion.  Knowledge is empowering. Gather the information and file it away so that if and when the time comes you will be somewhat prepared to be the caregiver your loved one deserves.

The book, DAD’S HOME ALONE, Caring For Your Elderly Parent, is a great resource for these and many other issues concerning your parents’ elder care. To read about it click on "About this Book" on  this website and at www.amazon.com